¿Por qué?

People who know me well tended to seem skeptical when they learned I was going to be studying abroad. I'm not a meek person by any means (I've been known to tell people off, speak my opinion, command a room and things of the like), but I'm not brave. At all.

I admit it - a lot of things scare me: the dark, loud noises, being startled, dogs I don't know, airplanes, small spaces, being home alone late at night, not having a plan and unknown situations immediately come to mind, but there are more.

So why would I, the girl who is scared of everything (or so it may seem), want to travel a million miles away from home (clearly an exaggeration...but work with me here!) to study? Isn't that something I could do here? Isn't that something I'm already doing here?

Check and check.

So why?

Or maybe I should practice a little spanish here - ¿Por qué?

I want to study abroad for so many reasons - I want to show that I can be independent. I want to try to perfect my ability to speak Spanish. I want to travel. I want to experience another culture. I want to go to Europe. I want to graduate from college with the ability to say that I did it.

So many people have told me that their biggest regret from college was not studying abroad, and I don't want that to be a regret that I have. People make so many excuses as to why they can't - it's not the right time, it will cost too much, it will interfere with their studies...but I thought about it a lot...and when is the right time to leave the country for two months? When will I have sufficient funds to travel? When would it be convenient for my schooling?

I decided there is never a good time to leave the country - you're always going to miss something, and it simply can't be helped.

I also know that I will never be financially stable (in college at least)...I'm using loans to pay for college, so what's a couple thousand more dollars in the grand scheme of things? I figure if I'm paying for school, I might as well fork over a little more to study in Spain.

As for being convenient with school...this is another situation in which I figure if I end up having to take an extra term, what's the big deal?

This may not be the financially responsible way to look at things...but I figure that it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me. After graduating, I'll get a job. Eventually I hope to get married and have a family...so when would be the right time to take off for a few months? When I graduate and am broke and paying back loans? When I have a job and can't take time off? When I get married and am paying for a wedding and a house? When I have kids to think about?

See? There's never a good time to spend a big ol' chunk of money...for me, anyway. And I know that this is going to be a fantastic experience, and it will all be worth it in the end!

♥ Abigail